


"It was supposed to be a puppy."

by GeesCLUELESSgirl



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Mikey and Gerard aren't related, Mistakes, One Shot, sex-bot, weird au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 05:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9586709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeesCLUELESSgirl/pseuds/GeesCLUELESSgirl
Summary: Weird one shot in which Frank thought he'd bought a puppy...he hadn't bought a puppy!__________





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@RedRomRomance](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40RedRomRomance).



> Hi there, so I received this prompt from my good friend @RedRomRomance -
> 
> ******
> 
> Fic Prompt: 
> 
> "I have a few concerns, this wasn't in the manual."
> 
> "There isn't a manual." 
> 
> "I have concerns about that, too."
> 
> ******
> 
> So I wrote this weird thing. Hope you enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> __________

Best friends since kindergarten and all throughout their school and collage lives, it was kind of inevitable that Frank Iero and Mikey Way ended up living together...purely as friend of course.  
Now, with both men about to turn 30 pretty soon, Frank decided that they should get a pet. The only problem with this idea, as Mikey never grew tired of pointing out, was that they were both away from the house for long hours each day, and it would not be right to leave a poor little dog or cat...

"Dog!"

Frank would always correct when Mikey started to explain this again, which always made Mikey roll his eyes before continuing on...it would not be right to leave a poor little _dog_ alone all day in the house. It wouldn't be fair on the dog, or the carpet. Frank would huff and pout and whine for a while, but eventually he would always agree. Maybe when they weren't both working ridiculous hours, maybe then.

* 

Mikey was working late one evening and Frank got bored. He pulled out his laptop and started to loose himself in YouTube for a while.  
After about an hour, he suddenly sat up straight, his eyes wide and a grin spreading on his face. There was an advertisement for a company in Silicon Valley called "Playbots", that designed extremely life-like, anatomically correct, animatronic pets.  
Chuckling at the idea, Frank followed a link to the company's website and had a look.

There was video of these pets, dogs, cats, rabbits, monkeys...anything. They all looked and acted exactly like the real thing, and were programmed to your own personal requirements. The best thing about them though, was that they were not actually alive, so they couldn't get lonely if they were in the house alone all day, and they wouldn't make a mess on the carpet.

Frank chewed on his lip for a moment as he looked at all the videos of puppy ones playing...it was soooo tempting. He decided to look at some of the other types while he was there, and was kind of surprised when a wrong click took him to a page of ones that looked just like humans. His somewhat dirty mind instantly went in the direction of "sex-bot", but upon reading the blurb about these models, he realised that 9 times out of 10, they were programmed as housekeepers, or as childcare.

For fun, Frank clicked on the "design" button, and started to design a human bot. He had no intention of buying it of course, but the site let you create as many designs for bots as you wanted to for free, so where was the harm?

Male, slim, pretty, red hair (cos Frank had a thing for that), feminine and very definitely a sex-bot!  
This was fun! Frank followed all the instructions to create the design until he was faced with a beautiful image of what the bot would look like. His finger hovered over the "create" button for a moment, his mind whirring with the possibility, but then he shook his head with a giggle. It was a nice fantasy, but he was pretty sure Mikey would kill him if a sex-bot was delivered to their house in the three weeks the company promised to deliver in, as stated at the top of the page. 

Frank took a screenshot...something to wank over later, then went back to the puppy page. 

Frank had had a small cross-breed dog when he was a kid, so he decided to try to design a pet that looked like that. After a lot of swapping and changing things, making ears pointier, tail longer, eyes bigger etc, he was finally happy with his design.

Frank heard the key turn in the front door, just as he pressed "create". The website told him that his design was ready to be made and that they just needed payment. Frank typed in his credit card details as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. The website took an annoyingly long time to confirm the payment and Frank started to sweat as Mikey's footsteps approached Frank's bedroom door. 

**Payment accepted. You will receive an email of you receipt shortly. Have a nice day and we hope you enjoy your purchase.**

The message came up on the screen and Frank clicked out of the site as his bedroom door opened.

"Hey Frank, I brought Chinese food...you in?"

Frank grinned at his best friend.

"Sure thing, I'll be down in a minute."

"Cool."

Mikey left the room and Frank sighed with relief. He wanted this robo-dog thing to be a surprise, and he wondered how long he could pretend the dog was real before Mikey realised it wasn't.  
Frank checked his email, making note of the receipt, then closed down his laptop and went to eat.

*

Three weeks later and Frank had been given today as the delivery date. Mikey was at work and Frank had the day off. He could barely sit still, he was so excited.

Half past two in the afternoon and Frank was sat glumly on the sofa. He had been on a high all morning, but as time ticked on and still no delivery, he'd found his energy and pep starting to lag. Now all he was doing was sitting staring at the front door and sighing heavily from time to time.

At just after three, Frank got up to get a drink. He was half way to the kitchen when the doorbell rang. 

Grinning wildly, he practically sprinted to the door and flung it open. He expected to see a delivery driver with a box no more than two foot square in his arms, instead, he saw a delivery man with the "Playbots" logo on his shirt and a box that was taller than him.

"Delivery for Frank Ero?"

"Iero, and that's me."

"Oh, right. Sorry. Please sign here."

The man held out an tablet and stylus. Frank looked at the box.

"It's a bit bigger than I thought it would be. Are you sure this is the right package?"

The man checked the label on the side of the box against the order details on his tablet. He nodded.

"Yep, that's the right one. Do you want me to help you get it inside?"

Frank thought for a moment, maybe the robo-dog came with accessories, maybe it had special equipment to charge it at night or something...he really should've read the details on the website a bit more. He sighed and nodded.

"Yes please, if you could."

The delivery guy nodded and between them they manoeuvred the box inside and into the living room. It wasn't really that heavy, just awkward. Frank thanked the guy then signed next to his name on the tablet. The guy handed Frank a small silver key, then said goodbye and left.

As soon as the front door was closed, Frank rushed back to the box and undid the padlock that was holding it shut. He took a calming breath, then opened the front of the box. His eyes nearly fell out of his head.

* 

Half past six and Frank was pacing the front lawn, chewing his nails as he waited for Mikey to get home. When he saw Mikey's car turn into the street, he nearly ran out into the road to meet him.

Mikey pulled onto their drive and had barely turned off the car when Frank was yanking the door open. He grabbed Mikey's sleeve and pulled him out and toward the house.

"Slow down Frank, let me lock the car before you pull my arm off..."

Frank stopped and looked at him for a second, then let go of his arm. 

"Thanks..."

Mikey went back and locked the car, then walked back to Frank who currently looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"Frank, what's going on?...are you ok?"

Frank shook his head.

"I fucked up..."

He grabbed Mikey's arm again and dragged him inside and into the living room where a large box stood open in the middle of the room.

"It was supposed to be a puppy."

"Frank."

"I was only playing on the first page, but I didn't order this."

"Frank."

There was a thud from upstairs.

"I don't know what to do...they don't accept returns."

"FRANK!!..."

Frank jumped and stopped rambling, eyes going wide at his friend. Mikey took a calming breath.

"Frank, tell me what you did."

"I..."

Frank looked at the floor.

"I kinda, sorta, maybe...boughtasexbot."

Mikey's face went blank.

"You... _bought_ a _sex-bot_?!"

"I didn't mean too."

Mikey looked up as footsteps sounded from upstairs. He looked back at Frank.

"It's upstairs?"

Frank nodded.

"He's cleaning the bathroom."

"Your sex-bot is cleaning the bathroom?"

Frank nodded again.

"Yes. I didn't know what else to do with him...he likes to clean."

Mikey raised an eyebrow.

"You bought a sex-bot...a _sex-bot_...and you have him... _cleaning_?!"

Mikey knew he should probably be mad, but right now he was just trying not to burst out laughing. Frank nodded, looking up timidly at his friend...he'd expected Mikey to be yelling at him right about now.

"You're not mad?"

"Mad?...no. Amazed that you're not up there putting that thing to better use than getting it to clean?...damn right I am."

"That's the thing though."

"Huh?"

"It's not a _thing_. His name is Gee, and he's actually really sweet."

Mikey gave Frank a look.

"Your sex-bot is...sweet?"

"Yeah. He was supposed to be all sexy and stuff...that's how I designed him on the site and he _is_ , but he's also like really cute, like a little kitten that just wants to please me. It's weird!"

Mikey shook his head at his friend in exasperation.

"Only you, Frank. Only you could fuck up and make a sex-bot too cute to fuck..."

He sighed.

"So...you gonna introduce me to him?"

Frank nodded, his shoulders sagging slightly.

"GEE? COULD YOU COME DOWN HERE PLEASE?"

Light footsteps sounded across the upstairs floor, then down the stairs. After a moment, a slim, pretty, red haired, feminine boy appeared in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of black short shorts. He smiled at Frank and walked over.

"Yes Frankie? How can I serve you?"

"Oh Lord."

Mikey muttered, nearly choking on his own spit.

"Gee, this is Mikey. Mikey, this is Gee."

Gee smiled sweetly.

"Hi Mikey, Frankie told me about you. It's nice to meet you..."

Mikey blinked at the sex-bot...Frank was right, he was too cute to fuck. Gee tilted his head when Mikey didn't speak. He looked at Frank with an expression of concern.

"Frankie?...is he broken?"

Frank giggled and Mikey nearly choked again.

"No Gee, I think he's just not sure what to say."

"Oh..."

Gee smiled and looked back at Mikey.

"Did you have a good day at work Mikey?"

Mikey looked at Frank, wide eyed, then back at Gee. He nodded dumbly, then remembered how to talk.

"Err yes, thank you."

Gee smiled wider then turned back to Frank.

"Should I finish cleaning the bathroom now Frankie?"

"Oh um yeah, sure Gee."

Gee smiled at the two men then returned upstairs. Mikey rubbed his hands over his face.

"I'm not sure that's a sex-bot..."

He said after a moment with a small frown.

"He's too...innocent."

"I know..."

Frank flopped onto the sofa with a groan.

"What am I gonna do Mikey?"

"Teach him?"

Frank sat up straight, frowning at his friend a little.

"Teach him...to be a sex-bot?...really Mikey, _that's_ your suggestion?!"

Mikey shrugged.

"Yeah, I mean...he's new, he's innocent...he's a virgin Frank!"

Frank swallowed heavily, glancing up at the ceiling.

"I never thought of that..."

He sighed, sitting back again.

"I have a few concerns though, this wasn't in the manual."

Mikey frowned slightly and looked around, even into the box before turning back to Frank.

"There isn't a manual." 

"Yeah, I have concerns about that, too."

Mikey rolled his eyes.

"Is there anything about this stuff on the website?"

Frank shook his head.

"No. After I opened the box and realised it wasn't a puppy inside, I went straight to the site. I read every single thing on there, _twice_ , and all I learned was that once the payment's taken, you can't change your mind and they don't accept returns...nothing about what to do with a sex-bot that looks like _that_..."

He pointed at the ceiling.

"...and acts like an innocent little girl."

Mikey laughed slightly.

"You really ordered a puppy online and got a sex-bot instead?"

"I ordered a _robo-puppy_ online, because it negated all your arguments about getting a pet...I thought you'd like the compromise."

"But you got a sex-bot instead."

Mikey repeated himself with a grin. Frank rolled his eyes.

" _Yes_ Mikey, I got a sex-bot instead...ok?!"

Frank said, stress and exasperation clear in his voice. Mikey held up his hands in surrender.

"Alright, ok...I'm sorry, I'll stop making jokes. So...are you going to try to teach him?...or are you going to turn him into a full time cleaner?"

Frank closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, he was getting a headache.

"I don't know Mikey. Look, could you order takeout please?...I really don't feel like cooking."

"Sure. What're _you_ going to do while I'm ordering the pizza?"

Frank opened his eyes and heaved himself up off the sofa before heading toward the stairs.

"I'm going to go find an aspirin...I'll be down in a minute."

Mikey chuckled slightly and rolled his eyes, pulling his cellphone from his pocket and pressing speed dial 3 for the local pizza place.

* 

Mikey had shouted upstairs when the pizza arrived, but all he got was Frank shouting back...

"SAVE ME SOME."

It was nearly midnight and Mikey was sat on the sofa watching "Howard The Duck"...because why the hell not?...when Frank appeared at the living room door. Mikey looked over at him and raised an eyebrow as Frank walked silently passed and into the kitchen. Mikey heard the fridge open then close, and a moment later, Frank walked back in with a beer in one hand and his half of the now cold pizza in the other. He walked over and sat down at the other end of the sofa

"You ok Frank?"

Mikey asked with a touch of concern. Frank cracked his beer open and took a deep drink before turning to look at Mikey.

"Mikey..."

Frank sighed heavily.

"We were wrong."

Mikey frowned slightly, tilting his head at his best friend.

"What about Frank?"

" _That_..."

Frank pointed at the ceiling.

"...is _definitely_ a sex-bot!"

Frank sighed deeply again, a smile spreading over his face as he turned to the TV and began to eat his pizza. Mikey laughed and rolled his eyes...it seems Frank knew what to do after all.

 

~fin~


End file.
